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I was putting my heart and soul on the line.
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Aug. 28th, 2008 | 04:56 pm
You know what I want?
I want love.
And, the other day, I realized that love is actually too much to ask for. It's hard..being a teenager who doesn't fit in anywhere. I don't have a certain group or clique. Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't want that, but it still makes things complicated. Because no one who is in a clique will branch out. And if they do, do you know what they want? They want sex. Sex sex sex sex sex. I understand the need/want/desire, but I don't think anything should get in the way of morals.
I do have morals, which is why I'm still a virgin. If i didn't, I would have sex with anyone. But in my mind, before sex there needs to be love.
Some people don't believe in love. My best friend doesn't believe in love. I'm starting to sway toward her view. Slowly, all the hope I had in the world is disappearing. If I stop believing in love completely, I think I'll comit suicide, because what else is there to live for?
Nothing.
Nothing nothing nothing. God.
I love my family, I love my friends, but I want that other love. Is that selfish? Yeah. But I don't care. I am not a selfish person, but I want I want I want.
I guess I'll have to be patient. But for some reason I have this feeling that I'm going to die old and alone. I'd rather die young and alone because I don't want to have to go throughout life by myself. But, no. I will die old and alone.
Because I am shy, chubby, and expecting too much.
I want love.
And, the other day, I realized that love is actually too much to ask for. It's hard..being a teenager who doesn't fit in anywhere. I don't have a certain group or clique. Don't get me wrong, I definitely don't want that, but it still makes things complicated. Because no one who is in a clique will branch out. And if they do, do you know what they want? They want sex. Sex sex sex sex sex. I understand the need/want/desire, but I don't think anything should get in the way of morals.
I do have morals, which is why I'm still a virgin. If i didn't, I would have sex with anyone. But in my mind, before sex there needs to be love.
Some people don't believe in love. My best friend doesn't believe in love. I'm starting to sway toward her view. Slowly, all the hope I had in the world is disappearing. If I stop believing in love completely, I think I'll comit suicide, because what else is there to live for?
Nothing.
Nothing nothing nothing. God.
I love my family, I love my friends, but I want that other love. Is that selfish? Yeah. But I don't care. I am not a selfish person, but I want I want I want.
I guess I'll have to be patient. But for some reason I have this feeling that I'm going to die old and alone. I'd rather die young and alone because I don't want to have to go throughout life by myself. But, no. I will die old and alone.
Because I am shy, chubby, and expecting too much.